|March snow, it's inevitable in Utah|
I'm sitting here, eating the breakfast I made, (which was supposed to be an omelette, but turned into scrambled eggs with ham and jalapenos -- which, by the way, I had to text my mom to ask her how to tell when jalapenos are bad.) and I started thinking. I haven't touched my blog in almost two years. It has just been this thing that I get emails about once in awhile. I thought recently about how I haven't written in so long. Then I had to dive into why I stopped writing. Is it because I got bored? Or is it because I was afraid of being boring? I would spend hours reading through other's blogs, clicking links that would take me to another one, and another one, and another one. I would think "these people have such entertaining lives. Their pictures are flawless and their entire page is gorgeous.
Before I stopped writing, a friend of mine revamped my blog and made it look much better than anything I could try to do. The fact is, I'm terrible at computers. Graphic design, and codes, and editing. It's just not my thing.
So, I start to feel a little embarrassed of my own silly blog. I would take outfit photos, but they seemed so "meh".
And then after two years and some serious yearning for expression, I realized: who. fucking. cares? This is my blog. This is my space. My voice needs to escape because that is one way I can release my stress and anxiety.
Here's the thing: I love fashion. I don't get paid to express my love of fashion. But I'm gonna.
I love writing. I'm gonna.
I have a voice, and I'm going to use it. Or in this case, type it.
My life is not glamorous, I work in retail for crying out loud. But I have things to say, and finally I can stop caring about comparing myself to others. It may have taken me 20 something years to accept that, but here it is. I don't care if you think I'm boring, I don't care if you subscribe, or comment, or laugh, or think. This is going to be my place. I can be as silly, or weird, or deep as I want to be. I miss the feeling of getting it all out there.
So, stay tuned. Or don't.
It's gonna happen.