Skirts and caps

Today my littlest step-sister graduated high school! It's so crazy that she is 18 years old, graduated, has her CNA certification and is getting married next year. I'm really proud of her.
Graduation ceremonies are pretty dang boring though, I remember sitting through mine but I don't remember a single speech. I think someone quoted Dr. Seuss? I think it's great to celebrate academic achievement, and to have the class valedictorian speak. It's just a lot to sit through. Especially when the building is sweltering hot.
Not to mention Mekaila's last name starts with a T so we had to sit through a whole list of A-S's that we don't even know. But hey, they're someone's kid! So, 'grats class of 2014!

Mekaila getting her diploma

I loved this outfit a lot. I had been looking everywhere for a tulle skirt that was calf length, with absolutely no luck. Because I refused to spend $40 + on it. I was searching online and found this adorable one on Ebay for only $10! I love it so much I want to buy another.

Top: Charlotte Russe
Skirt: Ebay
Shoes: Rue 21
Belt: Wet Seal

Easter Weekend

I'm a little late posting since it's already Wednesday, but hey better late than never right?
On Friday night my mom and I went to a local high school to watch my little brother's "After School Program Extravaganza". Everyday after school he goes to this program where they do activities for all the kids. It's pretty great because it's easier than him going to a babysitter. A few of the other elementary schools in the district were planning a movie themed program where they each choose a film and dance to the music from it. Gentry's school did Grease and it was absolutely adorable.
The kids were all so cute, you can tell they were having a blast up on stage.
I was so proud of Gentry, he looked so handsome in his white greaser tee with his hair slicked back. My mom said he had been practicing the hand jive for weeks, and he was awesome!

My cousin's husband was at the show as well and got this awesome shot of little G-man. Isn't he so handsome?

Mom and I waiting for the show to start.

Easter Sunday was nice, it is the second Easter that Taran and I have spent together as a married couple. I put together his basket really quickly because I'm one of those huge last minute shoppers, but it still turned out great. He got mine the same night because he is also a last minute shopper. We both got each other Disney movies which is adorable. After exchanging baskets we watched Frozen and ate chocolate for breakfast because we're adults.
Later that day we went over to a friends house for dinner. I made my first attempt at cake pops which made us pretty late to the dinner party, lesson learned: don't bake something for other people unless you know 100% what you're doing. My cake pops ended up way too moist and wouldn't stay on the stick to dip in frosting, and the frosting made a huge mess. I mean, they tasted fine but they weren't pretty. I decided to just leave them home for us and try again another time. Trial and error. I'll do better next time.

We had a great time spending Easter with friends, Taran and I even helped with the Easter egg hunt for the kids.

Oh, and I can't forget to mention that Sunday was also Stella's 4th birthday. Yes I put a candle on a treat for her, what else would I do?

AND Sunday was also the day we adopted Mila one year ago. (Look how much she's changed!)
We sure love our goofy little fur kids. So grateful we have them in our lives to keep us happy and entertained.

family photos

This weekend we met up with Taran's dad, step-mom and all their kids for family photos. I wasn't able to stay all day or for the party afterward because I had to work, but I'm glad I was there for the photos. I think they turned out great!
I feel blessed to be accepted into this sweet family and I'm glad they consider me part of theirs.

Side note: husband doesn't think he's photogenic...um, hello??? He's smokin!

Meet Mila

Top: Forever 21
Leggings: Wet SealBoots: Wet SealEarrings: Wet SealWatch: Gift

 

Yep! We have a new addition to our little family. This little nugget found her way into our hearts and we couldn't bear to not bring her home with us.
Saturday Taran and I went out for lunch before I had to work. Afterwards I mentioned that we should stop by PetSmart to pick up a new toy for Stella {it happened to be her birthday. [Yes I know these things]}
As luck would have it, we would choose to go to the pet store on the day they were doing open adoptions. I have such a soft spot for puppies and just dogs in general, I couldn't just walk by without looking. We spotted this little baby right away, and I fell in love. She kept licking me and sticking her paws out so I would pet her. Taran was interested in her sister who looked more like a lab, but for some reason I kept going back to this one. The longer we stayed there talking to her and playing with her, the more I couldn't tear myself away. We talked to one of the ladies running the adoption part and she told us about the shelter they kept her at and how they were not very well taken care of there.
Eventually we decided that there was no way we could leave without this sweetheart. We filled out the paperwork, bought her a collar and brought her to her new home with us.

Taran chose the name Mila for her {as in Mila Kunis or Mila Jovovich} and we are so happy! Stella was a little timid at first, she wasn't aggressive or mean, but she didn't like the puppy to touch her at all.
Right now we're focusing on getting her potty trained! Luckily that was one thing I NEVER had a problem with when Stella was little, she caught on very quickly.

She's adorable and I'm so glad we added her to our little family :)

Feelings.

I'm just going to dive right into this post by saying that I am terrible with emotions. I don't know how to react when I'm upset, and I don't know how to react when someone around me is upset. My go-to method when somebody is crying is to try and be funny. My go-to method when I'm crying is to avoid it at all costs or just hide away.
I hate to cry. I hate to cry in front of one person, in front of a group or even just by myself. Hate it.
One thing I've learned about myself is that instead of letting it out with some tears I force myself not to cry and I just get angry instead. So, if you happen to know me you'll know when something bad happens I lose patience and I get frustrated rather than just letting myself feel sad.
When my grandpa passed away I cried, when Taran proposed I cried, when I burnt my hand badly on my flat iron I cried like a little bitch. It's not that I don't cry...I just hate to.
I'm not the type of person to let my emotions get the better of me or to show any sign of vulnerability. Instead of showing it, I just put up a wall and try to get past it alone. I tend to push people away, get angry and give myself panic attacks instead.
{I'm aware this is unhealthy....}

What I'm getting at here is that if you've seen me cry it's because something really got to me. If I say I don't want to talk about something it's because I'm avoiding crying. I feel awkward when someone watches me cry, I don't want anyone to ever feel sorry for me or pity me.
Over the past few days I've broken down more times than I have in a long time.

My grandma is not doing well, and I don't know how much time she has left. My heart is completely crushed and this is where I find myself unsure of how to act. I don't want to cry in front of my brothers, I don't want to get upset at work {even though I have...twice} and it's because I don't know how to explain how I'm feeling, I don't know what to say or how to be. I'm not good at feeling this way, it's much different than just having a bad day and feeling sad. If that was the case I would easily turn it around and laugh about it instead of shed any tears.

I don't mean to ever hurt anyone's feelings if I push you away in situations like this, to be honest I push myself away....if that makes any sense.
Right now I feel chaotic and like I'm unwinding. I don't feel okay.

So that being said, I probably won't want to talk about this in person. The point of this post is so that people maybe understand how my brain is wired with these types of things. I don't want you to feel sorry for me, or anything like that, I just want you to understand that I am a mess when it comes to emotions. It's just something I don't really know how to deal with....and I apologize.

se7en

Yesterday my baby brother turned 7. I can't believe he's not actually a little baby anymore, it kind of blows my mind.
I still remember the day that he was born. Little Gentry wanted to greet the world 4 weeks earlier than planned! It was scary and he was so tiny, but he grew up to be a healthy little shit! He so smart, sweet and funny you would get a kick out of everything he says.

Taran and I went down to my grandma's house to celebrate his birthday and have cake. My mom and brothers have been staying there since Wednesday and have slowly been moving their stuff down there. It's weird to see their stuff somewhere other than the house we all grew up in. It will definitely take some getting used to.
Mom made homemade chicken noodle soup {my favorite thing ever} and I played checkers with the boys. Then we all sang Happy Birthday to G-man and had cake and ice cream together. My grandma was able to eat a bit of both so it made me happy that she could join us all.

Today I spent most of the day cleaning and organizing the house. Taran can't exactly move in until things get settled between this house and my grandma's. For instance my mom's bed is still here along with all of her dressers. Once things are more organized Taran can start bringing his stuff here and we'll finally be together.
One of the items we got for Christmas was a new vacuum from my dad and Tonya. I wanted to test it out today so that was one plus of cleaning. {I'm horrible at cleaning....I need to do stuff that won't bore me to death} I actually put the whole thing together by myself. Pretty proud of myself, not gonna lie.

Ta-Da! And it's purple! Hooray!

Thursday Things

• My most favorite cookie Mrs. Fields has to offer. Chocolate chip with coconut and macadamia nuts. Yum. And since I'm a mall employee I can get a cookie and a large drink for only $2. Score.
• Ever had a song get stuck in your head and stay there for the entire day? Oh yes, that would be this one that happened to me today. Normally when I get a song stuck in my head I'll jam to it, but I was at work all day and I couldn't. So I just doodled the lyrics and sang to myself on lunch.
• Sunburned little brother. They had field day at school and it sounded like a blast! Tomorrow is his very last day as a kindergartener. Whoah.
• One of my mom's oldest and best friends had her oldest son graduate from high school today! Tyler is such a sweet boy, and I'm so proud of him. It's crazy though because I still feel like he should be the little boy I remember seeing. I can't believe he's a high school graduate. Con'grads' Tyler!
• Speaking of graduating, my other little bro is graduating from the 6th grade tomorrow. I'm glad I'll get to go watch with my mom {I told him I'd cheer really loud and embarrass him...he wasn't too fond of that idea ha!} I can't believe he's starting to grow up, and will be a teenager soon. Next year he'll start Jr. High and I don't know what to think of that! It freaks me out to see my brothers so grown up.
  Also: Stella felt left out and had to be included in the photo, haha.

Goodnight :)

Welcome to October

Top/Skirt: Charlotte Russe | Leggings: Wal Mart | Boots/Bracelet/Earrings: Wet Seal

I am shocked that it is actually October already. I can't believe this year is almost over!
It feels like I should be getting ready to go to Disneyland...not like I've already been there {although I wouldn't mind going again...just sayin'}
Soon it's going to be Halloween, and I haven't even thought of what I want to be yet. Taran and I have bounced around ideas, but mostly I just want him to be Dexter. I've thought about maybe Snow White, or a vampire...more specifically a Victorian era Vampire. Like Katherine from The Vampire Diaries. 
Who knows, I still have awhile to think about it and decide.
For now I'm going to enjoy watching the leaves fall, drinking warm coffees, buying sweaters and boots, taking Stella for walks, and maybe watching some scary movies.
I love Fall...Summer is right up there with it, and I'm not sure which one I like more. I do know: that I love fall fashion, it's beautiful, it's not too hot, and Halloween is my favorite. I just wish it didn't turn into bitter yucky winter. I despise winter.

Yesterday Taran and I took a drive to Tooele to visit his family. His mom and step-dad are visiting from Minnesota and staying with his Aunt. They had everyone over for dinner last night and we finally got to see his new baby nephew! He's adorable, and I should have taken a picture.
I adore his family. They are funny, and loving and kind. I like to think of them as my own family, although I know we're not quite there yet. {Unfortunately....haha}
I did have a great time though and I'm glad our schedules worked out so that we were able to make a visit.
Hopefully we can start working out a way to see everyone at least once a month, because we see my family all the time...it would be nice to get to know his a bit more!

In other news, I hate Corporate visits at work...I get nervous and anxious and I'm always afraid of screwing up!
I did survive it though. We'll see what happens tomorrow....

Night <3

No meat! Big feet! I eat wood...

Ok, if anyone knows what that is from you get a big internet hug from me :)

Today my mom and I took all the kiddos, {Quade, Gentry and my cousins visiting from Colorado Aspynn and Emeri} to the Dinosaur Park! We usually go every year when the girls come to visit and it's pretty fun! They have trails you can take with big dinosaur statues all over. It was pretty hot though, I'm glad I chose to wear a dress and to pull my hair up. I'm glad Utah is finally catching up to the fact that it's not Winter anymore. Good job Utah, keep it up. 

My entire family are big cheeseballs so I got some fun pictures out of it!

We all had dinner after at La Puinta and it was delicious! Yum.

Happy Thursday everyone!

Me and mama!

Quade, me, Aspynn, Emeri, Gentry

Me, mom and Quade

Errybody errywhere and my mom

Top/Jeans: Wet Seal | Jacket: Rue 21 | Belt: Charlotte Russe | Shoes: Forever Young Shoes

Would you believe me if I told you that I wore this jacket on purpose because of today's Everybody, Everywhere challenge? Well I didn't, it was just fate I guess!

Last night I was finishing up my blog reading and was just about to start my own post when - ZAP! The power went out! Mom was gone so I was alone with the boys and our house was pitch black. I had to use my phone to get up in the cupboard and find some candles. The power stayed out for about an hour and after Quade went to bed Gentry and I just sat at the table eating Cheez Its and drawing/doodling. It's kinda funny how lost we are without little things like light huh? I actually enjoyed sitting there with little G just drawing and not watching TV or playing video games. But I really don't think I could live without electricity! Ever!



Anyway, my post that I didn't get a chance to finish was about my amazing mama.
This woman is seriously my best friend in the whole wide world. She's been there for me when I've felt like no one else would be. She is so undoubtedly strong and intelligent. Everybody loves her within just a few minutes of meeting her, and her laugh is infectious! Throughout the years she's struggled just so that her children's happiness could come first, and she's made it through some hard times. She has a wonderful sense of humor, she can talk to anyone about anything, she has integrity, compassion, and all around motherly love. She is a friend and the greatest mother a girl could ask for.
She taught me to love myself, laugh at myself and to never judge too quickly or harshly. She showed me how to be a good friend, how to treat people and how to treat myself.
I haven't always appreciated her, and I've definitely had my fair share of fights with her. But despite all our screaming, shouting and the "you're so not fair!"s I've learned that everything she did was out of her own good intentions for me. I may have hated her, and her decisions but now that I'm older I'm glad she was the way she was with me.
I like myself, I like the woman I've grown up to be and continue to be and for that I thank her from the bottom of my heart.

Happy Mother's day mommy, you are everything a mother should be and more!

Awkward & Awesome Thursday!

AWKWARD

• Scrubbin' around the house and being lazy, waiting until I get a phone call to actually get ready for the day.
• Having no time to actually get ready, thus throwing my greasy hair into a weird kind-of ponytail thing. {It's not quite grown out enough to just pull it up...so it's like a half pulled and then the bottom half is pulled up and I tie it all together, so it pretends to be a regular ponytail.}
• Almost getting hit 3 times in the same intersection on my way to work. That's more scary than awkward actually! Um, attention Utah driver in the mini-van: you can't just make your own lane...that's why there are white lines indicating there are 2 lanes. You can't just make a third!
• The fact that I got pulled over at that very same intersection for an improper left turn, and yet everyone else seems to do it. Now that I follow the law I almost get rear ended daily! Frustrated much?
• Rushing to apply lipstick. It just doesn't work that way folks, you gotta take your time, trust me.
• Attempting to talk to Amy over the headset and thinking she was ignoring me. Her headset wasn't even on.

AWESOME

• Getting called in to work! More hours for me = more money!!
• The beautiful weather today. It was in the 50s and that makes me smile. Spring is coming.
• Not having much to do at work, so basically just getting paid to hang out....I'm down with that.
• Visiting my old coworker/friend Doni and getting a great deal on some stuff. {Seriously now: $15 for a pair of jeans, a skirt and 2 tops. I could not pass that up.}
• Breakfast burritos. 'Nuff said.
• My crazy family taking goofy pictures together and my mom sword fighting with plastic sticks with Quade. Ending up in a dog pile and lots of laughter. My family is amazing.
• Four. Days. Til. Vegas.